Definition of Innocence

Q: What's the definition of innocence?
A: A nun working in a condom factory, thinking she's making sleeping bags for mice.

Praying for a Bicycle

When I was young I used to pray for a bicycle.
Then I realized that God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bicycle and prayed for forgiveness.

Do You Reaize Who You Are Talking To?

 A blonde was telling her priest a Pollock joke, when halfway through the priest interrupts her, "Don't you know I'm Polish?" "Oh, I'm sorry," the blonde apologizes, "do you want me to start over and talk slower?"