Lost at Krogers

There's a very sad Muslim kid, standing alone in Krogers and crying because he can't find his mother.
A kind store attendant bends over and asks, "Honey, it's going to be alright.  We'll find your mom.  Tell me, what does your mother look like?"
The kid replied, "I have no fucking idea."

God Makes a Woman

And God Created The Woman. He was so pleased with his creation that he calls in three of his top advisors: His chief Carpenter, His Chief Tailor, and His Chief Architect. He presents his creation to his Chiefs and asks them for suggestions and comments. The Carpenter says, "Too many forms, you need to straighten things out, flatten it out." God replies, "No I like it that way, but thanks." Then the Tailor says, "Too many strings (hair) sticking out, you need to trim them." God replies, "No I like it that way, but thanks." Then the Architect says: "Wonderful creation, absolutely superb, but next time, please do not place the toilets next to the reception room."

Two Elves

Two elves walk into Santa's office. Santa looks up and says, "Gary, Larry, how can I help you?" Gary and Larry look at each other, then turn to Santa.
"Santa", Gary says, "Are there any elf nuns in the workshop?" Santa checks a list and says, "No, I'm sorry but there are no elf nuns in the workshop."
Gary asks, "Well Santa, are there any elf nuns working any where in our factory?" Santa checks a list then says, "I'm sorry, but there are no elf nuns working in the factory."
Gary looks at Larry and asks, "Santa, are there any elf nuns in the North Pole at all?" Santa looks at his list for a few minutes and says, "I'm sorry Gary, but there aren't any elf nuns in the North Pole."
Larry finally busts out laughing and says, "Gary fucked a penguin, Gary fucked a penguin!