Pre-birth Class

When our second child was on the way, my wife and I attended a pre-birth class aimed at couples who had already had at least one child. The instructor raised the issue of breaking the news to the older child. It went like this: "Some parents," she said, "tell the older child, 'We love you so much we decided to bring another child into this family.' But think about that. Ladies, what if your husband came home one day and said, 'Honey, I love you so much I decided to bring home another wife.'" One of the women spoke up immediately. "Does she cook???"

Cold in Boston

I just got off the phone with a friend who lives in Massachusetts.  He said that since early this morning the snow has been nearly waist high and is still falling.  The temperature is -32 and the north wind is increasing to near gale force. The wind chill is -59.  His wife has done nothing but look through the kitchen window and just stare.
He told me that if it gets much worse, he may have to let her in!

Finnegin's Wife Stays Up

Finnegin says, "My wife has a terrible habit of staying up 'til two o'clock in the morning. I can't break her out of it."
"What on earth is she doin' at that time?" replied Keenan.
"Waitin' for me to come home!"