Misunderstood

My coworker was eating an ice cream cone on her lunch break when she caught me staring at her. "Hey what's up?" she said. "Oh nothing, it's just that I want to ask for something but I'm afraid you'll misunderstand me," I replied. "Haha don't worry, I won't," she said reassuringly.
"I wanna lick it," I said. She quickly extends the ice cream cone to me, to which I said, "I knew you'd misunderstand."

Roving Eyes

My girlfriend and I were in a restaurant and this strikingly attractive woman in a short black dress walked by. My eyes couldn't help but follow her as she passed by our table. My girlfriend glared at me and snapped, "So, do you want to date her?" To which I stuttered, "Ummmm...1968, perhaps?"

Chinese Anniversary

Went to a Chinese restaurant today with my new girlfriend to celebrate our two month anniversary. The philosophical message in my fortune cookie read, "Every exit is an entrance."
Long story short, my girlfriend said no.