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The best jokes and joke writers!

Ex-Girlfriend

Sometimes I wonder about my ex girlfriends who I haven't seen in years. Has she become all fat and bloated, or has she become disgustingly skinny; or maybe someone has already found the body.

Smart Phone Trouble

My girlfriend texted me "helpmyspacebarbrokecanyoucomeoverandgivemeanalternative"

Anybody know what "ternative" means?

Samples Needed

My boyfriend said that for his physical, the doctor needed a urine specimen, a stool sample, and a semen specimen. I told him, "Just give them your underwear."

Going Through Hell

There was this lover who said that he would go through hell for her. They got married, and now he is going through hell.

Digital Love

Dearest Dad,

I'm coming home to get married soon, so get your check book out. I'm in love with a boy who is far away from me. As you know, I am in Australia, and he lives in Scotland. We met on a dating website, became friends on Facebook and had long chats on Whatsapp. He proposed to me on Skype and now we've had two months of a relationship through Viber.

My beloved and favorite Dad, I need your blessing, good wishes and a really big wedding. Lots of love and thanks. Your favorite daughter, Lilly

THE RESPONSE

My Dear Lilly,

Like Wow! Really? Cool! and a big whatever... I suggest you two get married on Twitter, have fun on Tango, buy your kids on Amazon and pay for it all through PayPal. And when you get fed up with this new husband, sell his sorry ass on eBay!

Love, Your Dad