Saintly Naivete

I've never been much on fashion, but got quite a few compliments on a new sports jacket I wore to work one day.  My secretary asked me where I got it and I told her that it was a surprise from my wife. I went home early yesterday and there it was, on the back of a kitchen chair.

Marriage Advice And Quotes

• A man must marry only a very pretty woman in case he should ever want some other man to take her off his hands. - Guitry
• Ah Mozart! He was happily married, but his wife wasn't. - Borge
• Always talk to your wife while you're making love... if there's a phone handy.
• An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her. -- Agatha Christie
• And I shall love thee still my dear, until my wife is wise.
• Bachelor: the only man who has never told his wife a lie.
• Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
• By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates

Wife Losing Interest

Q: How does a man know when his wife is losing interest?
A: When her favorite sexual position is "next door".