Bill And Bob's Wives

Bill and Bob met at the club for their weekly golf game. For the third week in a row, it was raining too hard to play.
 
Bill: Well, Bob, what do you want to do now?
Bob Darts?
Bill Nah.
Bob Shoot some pool?
Bill Nah.
Bob Cards?
Bill Nah. Hey! I've got an idea. We can go over to my house and fool around with my wife.
Bob Whadaya mean?
Bill Just what I said. We'll go to my house and we can fool around with my wife.
Bob What about me?
Bill She's a sport. She won't mind at all.
Bob Well... if you think it's okay...
Bill Sure. C'mon, let's go!
(At Bill's House)
Bill Honey, I'm home. Honey. Sweetheart! Damn! She must have gone shopping. Tell ya what, Bob. Let's go to your house!

Who's Your Daddy

A teenage boy comes home and announces that he wants to marry the girl next door, Jane Jones. His father takes him aside and says, “I’m sorry , son, but years ago I was having an affair with Jane’s mother and I got her pregnant. You can’t marry her because she’s your half-sister.” A month later the son comes home and announces that he wants to marry a girl up the street, Sarah Smith. Again his father confesses that he once had an affair with Mrs . Smith, and that Sarah is in fact another half-sister. A month later the son announces his engagement to Amy Armstrong, but once more his father confesses that Amy is in fact another of his daughters. The son complains to his mother. “Dad’s driving me crazy,” he says. “Every time I fall in love with a girl it turns out she’s one of Dad’s daughters.” “Oh pay no attention to him,” says his mother. “It’s not like he’s your real father.”

Spending the Night

My friend asked me, "Why are you getting a divorce?" I responded, "My wife wasn't home the entire night and in the morning she said she spent the night at her sister's house." He said, "So?" And I responded, "She's lying. I spent the night at her sister's house!"