Relationship Jokes

Coffee Kills

The local courtroom was packed as testimony began in the sentencing hearing of a woman convicted of murdering her husband of 20 years by poisoning his coffee. The defense attorney knew he had his work cut out for him trying to make his client appear more sympathetic to the Judge, especially since she had been so "matter-of-fact" about the whole thing all during the trial. "Mrs. Roth," he began, "was there any point that morning where you felt pity for your husband?" "Well... yeah... I guess..." she replied. "And when was that?" pressed the attorney. "Well...," she replied, "when he asked for his third cup."

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

No Children

Mother: What seems to be the problem with you? You have been married three years and still no children. I had hopes of being a grandmother by now.
Daughter: I just don't know, Mom! Billy tries all the time, it's just that I have a lot of trouble swallowing.

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Twenty Men Die And Go To Heaven

Twenty men die and go to heaven. When they arrive they are told to separate into two lines. One for all the husbands that are under their wives control and they other for those that control their wives. After the men separate one of the angels notices that their are nineteen men in the first line and only one in the second. The angel walks up to the man and asks why he was so sure of his independence. "That's easy," said the fellow, "My wife told me to stand here!"

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous