Never Again

Whenever your ex says, "You'll never find someone like me," the answer to that is, "That's the point."

Blue Silk Pajamas

A man calls his wife and says to her, "Honey, I just got the chance of a lifetime, my boss invited me on a week long fishing trip. Could you pack up my things so that they will be ready when I get home?"
"Sure, honey," his wife answers.
"Oh, and could you please pack my blue silk pajamas?"
"Sure, honey," his wife answers again.
The man came home, picked up his things, and left off for the week. He returned a week later, smiling. His wife met him at the front door.
"So honey, how was your fishing trip?"
"It was great" the husband answered, "but you forgot to pack my blue silk pajamas."
"No I didn't," said his wife. "They were in your tacklebox."

You'll Never Hear a Man Say...

Things You'll Never Hear A Man Say:

• Here honey, you use the remote.
• You know, I'd like to see her again, but her breasts are just too big.
• Ooh, Antonio Banderas AND Brad Pitt? That's one movie I gotta see!
• While I'm up, can I get you anything?
• Honey since we don't have anything else planned, will you go to the wallpaper store with me?
• Why don't you go to the mall with me and help me pick out a pair of shoes?
• Aww, forget Monday night football, let's watch Melrose Place.
• Hey let me hold your purse while you try that on.
• We never talk anymore.