A painful adjustment

Adjusting to marriage sometimes poses some unexpected problems. But when I came upon a friend of mine in a bar the night after his wedding, I had to ask exactly what he was doing there instead of with his new bride. "Well, you see, this morning when I got up," he said, "I was barely awake from a wonderful night of love-making. More out of habit than anything else, I put a fifty dollar bill on the dresser."  I told him not to worry about it, that his new wife probably wouldn't even think anything of it;  that he could always say he left her some spending money. "No no !" he half wailed/half said, "You don't understand. She was half asleep too and gave me $30 change."

Quote And Counter- Quote.

Woman's Quote of the Day:
"Men are like fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something with which you'd like to have dinner with."
Men's Counter-Quote of the Day: "Women are like fine wine. They all start out fresh, fruity and intoxicating to the mind and then turn full-bodied with age until they go all sour and vinegary and give you a headache."

Behind the Hedge

This man had been having a few beers down at the neighborhood bar. It was dark out and he was walking home by a park when nature called so he stepped behind a hedge to relieve himself. To his and their surprise a couple were going at it on the grass and he almost stepped on them. The guy got up and took off running.  The man could see the naked outline of the gals bare legs as she continued to lie there while he relieved himself. He could feel his interest grow as he finished. Without a word he got down on his knees between her legs and took advantage of the situation. She embraced him and showed her willingness.  Just as they were both getting into it hot and heavy, a cop walked by and shined his flashlight on them saying, "What the hell do you think your doing, this is a public park."  The man said, "But officer this is my wife."  The officer said, "Oh, I didn't know she was your wife."The man said, "Neither did I 'till you shined your light on her."