Redneck Guessing Game

Two rednecks, Jethro and Fester, meet on a country road. Jethro is carrying a big bag labeled, "CHICKENS." "CHICKENES, eh?" says the Fester. "Hmmmm, if I guesses how many chickens you gots in dat there bag, will you give me one?" "Heck," says the Jethro, "Iffin you guess right, I'll give you both of em." Fester scratches his head and guesses, "Ummmm... five?!"

Ford

Q: What does Ford stand for?
A: Found On Rednecks Driveway!

A Rock Solid Defense

A redneck was arrested for selling home-stilled whiskey. His lawyer put him on the stand and asked the jurors to look carefully at his client. "Now, Ladies and Gentleman of the jury," concluded the lawyer, "you've looked carefully at the defendant. Can you sit there in the jury box and honestly believe that if my client had ANY whiskey he would sell it?"