Redneck Jokes

You might be a redneck if you light a match in the bathroom, and your house explodes right off its wheels.

A girl comes home from school and tells her grandma that a boy at has asked her out for a date. This being her first date, her grandma gives her some rules. "If he tries to come near you or hug you, its fine. If he tries to kiss you, well thats fine too. But if he tries to lay you down and get on top of you, just push him and get out of there." The innocent girl was confused and asked, "Why grandma?" Grandma replied, "Because then he will disgrace our family." The girl having learned the lesson goes on her date. When she returns, her grandma asked her what happened. She replied, "Everything went well. First he hugged me, then kissed me. But then he tried to lay me down. So instead I got on top of him and disgraced his family."

A kid, just getting home from school runs up to his dad.

"Daddy, daddy! I'm the only one in my class that can count to ten. Why do you reckon so?" he asked.

"Why, that's because your from Kentucky son." The dad responsed.

The next day the kid gets home from school.

"Daddy, daddy! I'm the only one in my class that knows all the letters in the alphabet. Why do you reckon so?"

"That's because you're from Kentucky son." The dad tells him again.

The next day the kid busts through the door.

"Daddy. daddy! I'm the only one in school who has a large penis, is that because I'm from Kentucky?"

The dad looks at him and says, "No that's because you're 22."

Q: What does a hillbilly call a deer with no eyes?

A: No Eye Deer (No idear)

Q: Did you hear that they have raised the minimum drinking age in West Virginia to 32? 

A: It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the high schools!