Political Jokes

Bill Clinton, Barack Obama, and Al Gore were in an airplane that crashed.

Now they're in heaven, and God is sitting on the great golden throne.

God addresses Al first. "Al, what do you believe in?" Al replies, "Well, I believe that the internal combustion engine is the root of all evil and that we need to save the world from CFCs and that if any more freon is used, the whole earth will become a greenhouse and we'll all die." God thinks for a second and says, "Okay, I can live with that. Come and sit at my left."

God then addresses Bill Clinton. "Bill, what do you believe in?" Bill Clinton replies, "Well, I believe in power to the people. I think people should be able to make their own choices about things, and that no one should ever be able to tell someone else what to do. I also believe in feeling people's pain, but not inhaling." God thinks for a second and says, "Okay, that sounds good. Come and sit at my right."

God then addresses Obama. "Barack Obama, what do you believe in?" Obama said, "I believe you're in my chair."

The Department of Defense briefed the President this morning.  They told President Obama that 2 Brazilian soldiers were killed in Afghanistan.  To everyone's surprise, he collapsed onto his desk, head in hands, visibly shaken and almost in tears.

Finally, he composed himself and asked, "Just how many is a Brazilian?"

This isn't surprising since he obviously has no understanding of billion or trillion either.

I love Christmas lights. They remind me of the people who voted for Obama. They all hang together, half of the little bastards don't work, and the ones that do aren't that bright!

Mexican tap water

A rattlesnake with a "pet me" sign

A fart when I have diarrhea

An elevator ride with Ray Rice

Taking pills offered by Bill Cosby

An Obama Nuclear deal with Iran

A Palestinian on a motorcycle

Gas station Sushi

Brian Williams news reports

Prayers for peace from Al Sharpton

A priest walked into a barber shop in Washington, D.C. After he got his haircut, he asked how much it would be. The barber said, "No charge. I consider it a service to the Lord. "The next morning, the barber came to work and there were 12 prayer books and a thank you note from the priest in front of the door. Later that day, a police officer came in and got his hair cut. He then asked how much it was. The barber said, "No charge. I consider it a service to the community. "The next morning, he came to work and there were a dozen donuts and a thank you note from the police officer. Then, a House of Representatives member came in and got a haircut. When he was done he asked how much it was. The barber said, "No charge. I consider it a service to the country."The next morning, the barber came to work and there were 12 House Democrats in front of the door.