New Ruling

The Supreme Court has ruled that there cannot be a Nativity Scene in Washington DC this Christmas season.  This isn't for any religious reason, they simply have not been able to find three wise men and a virgin in the Nation's capitol.  There was no problem, however, finding enough asses to fill the stable.

Dad's Will

A man was telling his buddy "You won't believe what happened last night.
 
My daughter walked into the living room and said, "Dad, cancel my allowance immediately, forget my college tuition loan, rent my room out, throw all my clothes out the window, take my TV and my laptop. Please take any of my jewelry to the Salvation Army or Cash Converters.  Then, sell my car, take my front door key away from me and throw me out of the house.  Then, disown me and never talk to me again.  Don't forget to write me out of your will and leave my share to any charity you choose."
 
"Wow," replied the friend, "she actually said that?"
 
"Well, she didn't put it quite like that.  She actually said, 'Dad, meet my new boyfriend -- Mohammed.  We're going to work together on Biden's election campaign!'"
 

No Sex Hillary

A recent article in the Washington Post reported that Hillary Clinton sued Walter Reed Hospital, saying that after her husband Bill had surgery there, he lost all interest in sex.
A hospital spokesman replied: "President Clinton was admitted for cataract surgery. All we did was correct his eyesight!"