Political Jokes

Q: What proof is there that Donald Trump is racist and sexist?

A: He beat a woman badly in his run for the presidency and threw a black family out of a white house.

After numerous rounds of, "We don't know if Osama is still alive," Osama himself decided to send Ted Kennedy a letter in his own handwriting to let him know he was still in the game. Kennedy opened the letter which appeared to contain a single line of coded message, 370HSSV-0773H. Kennedy was baffled, so he e-mailed it to John Kerry. Kerry and his aides had no clue either, so they sent it to the FBI. Noone could solve it at the FBI, so it went to the CIA, then to the NSA. With no clue as to its meaning, the FBI finally asked Marine Corps Intelligence for help. Within a few seconds the Marine Corps cabled back with this reply, "Tell Kennedy he's holding the message upside down."

Our phones, wireless

Cooking, fireless

Cars ~ Keyless

Tires ~ Tubeless

Dress ~ Sleeveless

Youth ~ Jobless

Women ~ Topless

Leaders ~ Shameless

Relationships ~ Meaningless

Attitude ~ Careless

Wives ~ Fearless

Babies ~ Fatherless

Feelings ~ Heartless

Education ~ Valueless

Children ~ Mannerless

Everything is becoming LESS but still our hopes are ~ Endless.

In fact we are ~ Speechless

And Government is ~ CLUELESS!!

And our Politicians are ~ WORTHLESS!!
 

Hillary phoned Trump's office shortly after midnight. “I need to talk to President Trump, it’s an emergency!” exclaimed Hillary. After some cajoling, the president's assistant agreed to wake him up. “So, what is it that’s so important that it can’t wait until morning,”  grumbled Trump.“ A Supreme Court Judge just died, and I want to take his place,” begged Hillary. “Well, it’s Okay with me if it’s Okay with the mortuary,” replied President Trump.

AOC gets on an airplane and sits down in the first-class section. The flight attendant tells her she must move to coach because she doesn't have a first-class ticket. AOC replied that she was a congresswoman and she was staying in first class until we reach Miami. The flight attendant gets the head flight attendant who asks AOC to leave and she says no, I'm a congresswoman and I'm staying in first class until we reach Miami." The flight attendant doesn't know what to do because they have to get the rest of the passengers seated to take off, so they get the copilot. The copilot goes up to AOC and whispers in her ear. She immediately gets up and goes to her seat in the coach section. The head flight attendant asks the copilot what he said to get her to move. The copilot replies, "I told her the front half of the airplane wasn't going to Miami."