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The best jokes and joke writers!

Counter Productive Pickup Lines

  1. If you and I were squirrels, I could bust a nut in your hole.
  2. How do you like your eggs: fried, scrambled or fertilized?
  3. My love for you is like diarrhea; I just can't hold it in.
  4. If your right leg was Thanksgiving, and your left leg was Christmas, then could I meet you between the holidays?
  5. How about we play lion and lion tamer? You hold your mouth open, and I'll give you the meat.

No Refusin

There's no refusin' my infusion.

Come Sit

"Hey girl, come sit on my lap and we could talk about the first thing that pops up."

More Pick Up Lines

1. I want you almost as much as I want world peace.

2. You can forget about going to heaven because it's sin to look that good.

3. We both know that I am going to follow you home anyway, so why don't you just come along peacefully?

4. I envy your lipstick.

5. I just want to be loved - is that so wrong?

6. You remind me of an ice cold Pepsi - I've just gotta have it.

7. Do you believe in the hereafter? Good, then you know what I'm here after.

8. If I had eleven roses and you, I'd have a dozen.

9. Baby, you look so sweet you're giving me a cavity.

10. Is it me or am I gorgeous?

11. I'd even marry your dog just to be related to you.

Sending it Through

Are you gonna let me send it through? Goooaaalll!