Pick Up Lines
Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?"
Woman: "Unfertilized, fuck off!"
Pickup Line - Farm
Do you work on a farm?
...because you sure know how to raise a cock
Clown Squirt Pickup
This plastic flower isn't the only thing that'll squirt you in the eye! Honk honk!
I would like to approach your goalmouth. Goooaaalll!
37 Rude & Crude Pick-up Lines
- I wish you were a door so I could slam you all day.
- Nice legs ... what time do they open?
- Do you work for UPS? I thought I saw you checking out my package.
- You've got 206 bones in your body, want one more?
- Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?
- I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you.
- I'm a bird watcher and I'm looking for a Big Breasted Bed Thrasher: have you seen one?
- I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight.
- Want to play army? I'll lay down and you can blow the hell outta me.
- I wish you were a Pony Carousel outside Superdrug, so I could ride you all day long for a quarter.
- Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a Braille name tag.
- I'd really like to see how you look when I'm naked.
- Is that a ladder in your stockings or the stairway to heaven?
- You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
- Are those real?
- You must be the limp doctor because I've got a stiffy.
- I'd walk a million miles for one of your smiles, and even farther for that thing you do with your tongue.
- If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning.
- (Look down at your crotch) Well It's not just going to suck itself.
- You know, if I were you, I'd have sex with me.
- You. Me. Whipped cream. Handcuffs. Any questions?
- F@# me if I'm wrong, but is your name Sherry Titsbottom?
- Those clothes would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor.
- My name is (name) ... remember that, you'll be screaming it later.
- Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?
- Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.
- My friend wants to know if YOU think I'M cute.
- Hi. The voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.
- My name isn't Elmo, but you can tickle me anytime you want to.
- I know milk does a body good, but DAMN, how much have you been drinking?
- If you were the last woman and I was the last man on earth, I bet we could do it in public.
- Wanna come over for some pizza and sex? No? Why? Don't you like pizza?
- Baby, I'm an American Express lover ... you shouldn't go home without me.
- Do you sleep on your stomach? Can I???
- Do you wash your pants in Windex? Because I can see myself in them.
- I lost my puppy. Can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room.
- (Lick finger and wipe on her shirt) Let's get you out of these wet clothes.