One-Liner Jokes

I'd Love To But... (Pt III)

More goofy excuses you can use to get out of going somewhere you just don't wanna go to. I'D LOVE TO BUT:

  • I have to go to court for kitty littering.
  • I have to jog my memory.
  • I have to knit some dust bunnies for a charity bazaar.
  • I have to rotate my crops.
  • I have to sit up with a sick ant.
  • I have to stay home and see if I snore.
  • I have to study for a blood test.
  • I have to thaw some karate chops for dinner.
  • I prefer to remain an enigma.
  • I think you want the OTHER (fill in your name here).
  • I'm going to be old someday.
  • I'm going to count the bristles in my toothbrush.
  • I'm going to the Missing Persons Bureau to see if anyone is looking for me.
  • I'm having my baby shoes bronzed.
  • I'm trying to cut down.
  • I'm up to my eardrums in waxy buildup.
  • I've been traded to Cincinnati.
  • My Dress For Obscurity class meets then.
  • Mmy favorite commercial is on TV.
  • My uncle escaped... again.
  • Oooo, having fun gives me prickly heat.

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Night Time

If you need a timepiece when it gets dark, come and see me.
I'm the night watch man.

Copyright © 2014 - Kiel Phillips - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Written By: KielPhillips

Immature Wife

My wife is so immature, every time I take a bath, she comes in and sinks my little boats!

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous