Old Man's Peanuts

An old man and a young man work together in an office. The old man always has a jar of peanuts on his desk, and the young man really loves peanuts. One day, while the old man is away from his desk, the young man yields to temptation and scarfs down over half of the contents of the jar. When the old man returns, the young man feels guilty and confesses to his crime. "Don't worry, son. I never eat the peanuts anyway," the old man replies. "Since I lost my teeth, all I can do is gum chocolate off the M&M's."

Gay Man Fired

Q: Why did the gay man get fired from his job at the sperm bank?
A: Drinking on the job.

More Business One Liners

• Any wire cut to length will be too short.
• Anybody can win, unless there happens to be a second entry.
• Anyone can admit they were wrong; the true test is admitting it to someone else.
• Anyone who is popular is bound to be disliked.
• Anyone who makes an absolute statement is a fool.
• Anything created must necessarily be inferior to the essence of the creator. 
• Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral, or fattening.
• Anything hit with a big enough hammer will fall apart.
• Anything in parentheses can be ignored.
• Anything is easier to take apart than to put together.