$20 Dollar Question

Q: A smart blonde, Santa and a pregnant woman are on an elevator. A twenty-dollar bill lies on the ground. Who picks it up?
A: The pregnant woman... the other two aren't real!

The Wealth Of Nations

I think it's ironic that the principles from "The Wealth of Nations" is bank robbing our society.

Fulfilling a Promise

A woman recently lost her husband. She had him cremated and brought his ashes home. Picking up the urn that he was in, she poured him out on the counter. Then she started talking to him, and tracing her fingers in the ashes, she said, "You know that fur coat you promised me Irving?" She answered by saying, "I bought it with the insurance money!" She then said, "Irving, remember that new car you promised me?" She answered again saying, "Well, I bought it with the insurance money!" Still tracing her finger in the ashes, she said, "Irving remember that BJ I promised you? Here it comes..."