We're sorry, but it appears that you are using an anonymous proxy. To prevent fraudulent voting, we don't allow votes from anonymous proxies.

This contest requires users to be registered in order to vote.

You must be a registered user to submit a joke.  But registering is FREE and don’t worry, we only need a name and e-mail address, and we don’t sell or share your information with any third-parties (see Privacy Policy).

You must complete account validation before submitting jokes. Click here to go to your profile page to complete the process.

We’re sorry, but your browser settings indicate that you don’t want to be tracked.  You can either disable that setting or simply register for a FREE account, so we’ll know that you want us to track your preferences and feedback.  Don’t worry, we only need a name and e-mail address and we don’t sell or share your information with any third-parties (see Privacy Policy).


The best jokes and joke writers!

CD & Intercourse

Q: What is the difference between a Certificate of Deposit and Intercourse?

A: A Certificate of Deposit has significant penalty for early withdrawal.

Frog Bucks

Q: Where do frogs keep their money?

A: In a river bank!

Questions for God

One night when a boy prayed to God, the boy asked god:

How Long is 1 million years to you?

God replies: 1 second.

The Boy asked God: How much is 1 million dollars to you?

God replies: 1 penny.

Then the boy asked God if he could have a penny.

God replies...sure, "gimme 1 second".

Muldoon's Dog

A farmer named Muldoon lived alone in the countryside with a pet dog which he loved and doted on. After many long years of companionship, the dog finally died so Muldoon went to the parish priest: "Father, my dear old dog is dead. Could you say a mass for the creature?" Father Patrick replied, "I am so very sorry to hear about your dog`s death, but, unfortunately we cannot have services for an animal in the church. However, there`s a new denomination down the road, no telling what they believe, but maybe they'll do something for the animal." Muldoon said, "I'll go right now. Do you think $500 is enough to donate for the service?" Father Patrick: "$500? - Why didn't you tell me the dog was Catholic?!"

Female Desire

Q: What's six inches long, two inches wide, and drives women wild?

A: Money