My girlfriend wanted us to get a Sleep Number bed, so we went and checked it out. Turns out her sleep number is 61, and mine is $3500!
Do Elephants Ever Forget?
Q: Does an elephant ever forget?
A: Only if you loan him money.
Q: Ever wonder why the IRS calls it, "Form 1040?"
A: Because for every $50 you earn, you get 10 and they get 40.
Q: What kind of money do fishermen make?
A: Net profits!
Pay your taxes with a smile.
A nervous taxpayer was unhappily conversing with the IRS Tax auditor who had come to review his records. At one point the auditor exclaimed, "Mr. Carelton, we feel it is a great privilege to be allowed to live and work in the USA. As a citizen you have an obligation to pay taxes, and we expect you to eagerly pay them with a smile." "Thank goodness," returned Mr. Carelton, with a giant grin on his face, "I thought you were going to want me to pay with cash."