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The best jokes and joke writers!

Making Ends Meet

"We have a terrible time making ends meet on Bob's income.", his wife told her best friend.  "How do you two manage? And you even have kids!"  "We get along okay," her friend said. "You see, we work on our budget every evening. That saves us lots of money."  "Really? How can that be?"  "Well, by the time we get it all balanced, it's too damn late to go anywhere and do anything!"

Money for Wife's Operation

A guy is walking down the strip in Las Vegas, when a man walks up and says, "Sir, do you have a extra $20.00, my wife needs an operation that costs $1000.00. I have $980.00 and just need the last $20.00."  The guy thinks about it and asks the man, "How will I know that you aren't going to walk into that casino and gamble it away?"  The man replies, "No sir... I have money for gambling!"

Bums' Dirty Pants

Once upon a time there were these two bums walking down the railroad tracks, and the first bum, Fred, thought he smelled a nasty old smell. He asked his companion, Jeff, ''Did you shit your pants?'' ''Hell no,'' Jeff said. They walked a few more miles and the smell got worse. ''Did you shit your pants, Jeff?'' ''I swear to the God almighty I did not shit my pants,'' Jeff said.
So they walk three more miles and the smell gets just horrible. Fred runs over and pulls down Jeff's pants and says, ''I thought you said you didn't shit your pants?!'' ''I didn't.'' Jeff said. ''They're your pants.''

Frog Bucks

Q: Where do frogs keep their money?

A: In a river bank!

Yo Mama - Robbed

Yo momma so small, she got robbed by a gummy bear!