Q: Where do frogs keep their money?
A: In a river bank!
Yo Mama - Robbed
Yo momma so small, she got robbed by a gummy bear!
Four men are out golfing one day. The first man steps up to tee and states boastfully, "My son is so rich that he bought his lover a house." The second man steps up to tee and says, "Well, MY son is so rich that he bought his lover a new car." The third man steps up and says, "My son is so wealthy that he bought his lover a vacation home in Miami. "Finally, the fourth man goes to tee and he says, "Well, my son isn't rich and self-made like yours and he's gay, and from what I hear, despite my objections, he has 3 separate lovers and from them he just got a new house, a new car, and a summer home in Miami!"
The Boy Who Wrote To God
One night when a boy prayed to God, the boy asked god:
How Long is 1 million years to you?
God replies: 1 second.
The Boy asked God: How much is 1 million dollars to you?
God replies: 1 penny.
Then the boy asked God if he could have a penny.
God replies...sure, "gimme 1 second".
A farmer named Muldoon lived alone in the countryside with a pet dog which he loved and doted on. After many long years of companionship, the dog finally died so Muldoon went to the parish priest: "Father, my dear old dog is dead. Could you say a mass for the creature?" Father Patrick replied, "I am so very sorry to hear about your dog`s death, but, unfortunately we cannot have services for an animal in the church. However, there`s a new denomination down the road, no telling what they believe, but maybe they'll do something for the animal." Muldoon said, "I'll go right now. Do you think $500 is enough to donate for the service?" Father Patrick: "$500? - Why didn't you tell me the dog was Catholic?!"