Q: How does an astronomer cut his hair?
A: Eclipse it.
Q: What sound do 16 sodium atoms make when they walk into McDonalds followed by Batman?
A: Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na BATMAN!
Q: What's another definition for the Powerball Lottery?
A: A tax on people who are bad at math.
Living on Earth
"Living on Earth may be expensive, but it includes an annual free trip around the Sun!"
A somewhat advanced society has figured how to package basic knowledge in pill form.
A student, needing some learning, goes to the pharmacy and asks what kind of knowledge pills are available. The pharmacist says, "Here's a pill for English literature." The student takes the pill and swallows it and has new knowledge about English literature!
"What else do you have?" asks the student.
"Well, I have pills for art history, biology, and world history," replies the pharmacist.
The student asks for these, and swallows them and has new knowledge about those subjects.
Then the student asks, "Do you have a pill for math?"
The pharmacist says, "Wait just a moment," goes back into the storeroom, brings back a whopper of a pill, and plunks it on the counter.
"I have to take that huge pill for math?" inquires the student.
The pharmacist replied, "Well, you know math always was a little hard to swallow."