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Top 10 Advice from Kids

  1. Never trust a dog to watch your food.
  2. When your dad is mad and asks you, 'Do I look stupid?' don't answer.
  3. Never tell your mom her diet's not working.
  4. Don't pull dad's finger when he tells you to.
  5. Never hold a dust buster and a cat at the same time.
  6. You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
  7. If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a horse.
  8. Don't pick on your sister when she's holding a baseball bat.
  9. When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your mom when she's on the phone.
  10. Never try to baptize a cat.

Little Peanut

Little Sally came home from school with a smile on her face, and told her mother, "Frankie Brown showed me his weenie today at the playground!" Before the mother could raise a concern, "Sally went on to say, "It reminded me of a peanut." Relaxing with a hidden smile, Sally's mom asked, "Really small, was it?" Sally replied, "No, salty." Her mom fainted.

Teacher Error

The Fourth of July weekend was approaching, and Miss Kaitlyn, the nursery school teacher, took the opportunity to tell her class about patriotism. "We live in a great country," she announced. "One of the things we should be happy about is that, in this country, we are all free."

Trevor, who was a little boy in her class, came walking up to her from the back of the room. He stood with his hands on his hips and said loudly, "I'm not free. I'm four." 

Drawing God

A kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She walked around to look at the artwork. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.

The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."

The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."

Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing the girl replied, "They will in a minute."

Stone Sinking in Water

Teacher:  "Why does a stone sink in water when you thrown it in?"

Student:  "Because it does not know how to swim!"