Dictionary Spelling

How do you spell elephant? E-l-l-e-e-f-a-n-t" That's not how the dictionary spells it" "You didn't ask me how the dictionary spelled it!"

The Report Card

Father to son after exam: "Let me see your report card."
Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents.""

Quiet In Church

A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way to church service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" One bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."