A Book of Animals

A mother was reading a book about animals to her 3 year old daughter. The girl's mother asked her "What does the cow say?" her daughter says "Moooo!" Her mother asks again, "Great! What does the cat say?" her daughter replies "Meow." "Oh, you're so smart! What does the frog say?" And this wide-eyed little three-year-old looked up at her mother and replied, "Bud."

No Santa Babies

Q: Why doesn't Santa Claus have any kids?
A: Cause he only comes once a year!

Aged Mother

With the help of a fertility specialist, a 65 year old woman has a baby. All her relatives come to visit and meet the newest member of their family.
When they ask to see the baby, the 65 year old mother says, "Not yet." A little later they ask to see the baby again. Again the mother says, "Not yet."
Finally they say, "When can we see the baby!?"
And the mother says, "You'll have to wait until the baby cries." And they ask, "Why do we have to wait until the baby cries?"
The new mother says, "Because I forgot where I put it!"