Two Men Vacation in the Desert.

Two men went to the desert for a vacation. They rented a camel and headed out. Five days later they came back but without the camel. The man who had rented them the camel was very upset and screamed, "Where is my camel?" They replied, "Well, we were riding along when we kept hearing people say, 'Look at the two assholes on that camel!' So finally we got off to take a look and the damn camel ran away!"

Slap A Lady

Q: When is the only time you can smack an ugly woman in the face?
A: When her mustache is on fire.

Suicide Insult

Slit your wrists, it will lower your blood pressure.