Distance

Two blondes were sitting on a bench on the Atlantic City boardwalk admiring a beautiful, bright full moon. One said to the other, "I wonder which is further away, Florida or the moon?"

"Duh..." said the other, "Can you see Florida from here?"

You're Different

You used to be arrogant and obnoxious. Now you are just the opposite. You are obnoxious and arrogant.

Bad Golfer

Golfer: "Well, I have never played this badly before!"
Caddy: "I didn't realize you had played before, sir!"