Holiday Jokes

HUGE Collection of Holiday Jokes! ROFL with April Fool's Day, Halloween, St. Patrick's Day, Christmas, Easter, more. Crack yourself up with funny holiday jokes.

Wolf Man

The Wolf Man comes home one day from a long day at the office on Halloween. "How was work, dear?" his wife asks. "Listen! I don't want to talk about work!" he shouts. "Okay. Would you like to sit down and eat a nice home cooked meal?" she asks nicely. "Listen!" he shouts again. "I'm not hungry! I don't wanna eat! Alright! Is that alright with you? Can I come home from work and just do my own thing without you forcing food down my throat? huh?" At this moment, the wolf man started growling, and throwing things around the apartment in a mad rage. Looking out the window, his wife sees a full moon and says to herself, "Well, I guess it's that time of the month."

Anonymous

Black Friday Jungle

Q: What did Nala tell Simba after seeing a crowd of shoppers on Black Friday?
A: You gotta Mufasa
 

Anonymous

Happy Thanksgiving

One Thanksgiving a friend and I were walking down a main street in Albany when a man comes up to me and gives me a turkey and says, "Happy Thanksgiving!" Without hesitation my friend knocks him out. I asked my friend why he punched the nice man. My friend said, "He gave you the bird!"

Anonymous