Steel Trap

I have a mind like a steel trap, which can be dangerous. Every time I get an idea, it snaps my neck and swallows my face.

Counter Productive Pickup Lines

1. If you and I were squirrels, I could bust a nut in your hole.
2. How do you like your eggs: fried, scrambled or fertilized?
3. My love for you is like diarrhea; I just can't hold it in.
4. If your right leg was Thanksgiving, and your left leg was Christmas, then could I meet you between the holidays?
5. How about we play lion and lion tamer? You hold your mouth open, and I'll give you the meat.

Funny Thought - Fools Gold

Has anyone ever really been fooled by fool's gold? I mean come on, it looks as about as real as Joan Rivers' face!