Only Child

I heard that your brother was an only child.

What On Earth?

Two college students, Frank and Matt, are riding on a New York City subway when a beggar approaches them asking for spare change. Frank adamantly rejects the man in disgust. Matt, on the other hand, whips out his wallet, pulls out a couples of dollar bills and gladly hands them over to the beggar with a smile. The beggar thanks him kindly and then continues on to the other passengers. Frank is outraged by his friend's act of generosity. "What on earth did you do that for?" shouts Frank. "You know he's only going to use it on drugs or booze!!!" Matt replies, "What...and we weren't?"

Government Competition

Q: What's the REAL reason the government jails people for theft
A: They don't want any competition.