Singing Telegram

It was the morning of Ralph's birthday and there was a knock on the door. "Telegram!" Filled with excitement, Ralph opened the door and asked the messenger boy standing before him, "Is it a singing telegram?" "No Sir. We don't do singing telegrams anymore," the messenger replied. "Oh, but I've always wanted to receive a singing telegram," a disappointed Ralph moaned. "Couldn't you just bend the rules a little and make an old man happy?" "I'm sorry, sir," replied the messenger. "Please," Ralph pleaded, "after all, today is my birthday." "Alright, sir, if you insist," the messenger said. "Dah-dah dah...dah-dah-dah, your sister Rose is dead!".

Rednecks At School

You know you're a redneck when you walk into school with your son and are in the same grade.

10 Bumper Stickers

1. Ambivalent? Well yes and no....
2. Does your train of thought have a caboose?
3. Is it time for your medication or mine?
4. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted a paycheck
5. How do I set the laser printer to stun?
6. I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert....
7. Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.
8. Don't bother me. I'm living happily ever after.
9. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
10. And your crybaby, whiny opinion would be ... ?