More Business One Liners

• It is incredible how much intelligence is used in this world to prove nonsense.
• It is later than you think.
• It is morally wrong to allow suckers to keep their money.
• It is not enough to tell me you worked hard to get your gold.
• The devil works hard too.
• It is not how someone measures up. It is how they measure you.
• It is not sufficient to be a success; it is also necessary for your friends to be failures.
• It is not true that life is one thing after another, it's one stupid thing over and over.
• It is okay to be ignorant in some areas, but some people abuse the privilege.
• It is the dead wood that holds up the tree.
• It is when you trip over your own shoes that you start picking up shoes.
• It isn't that they can't see the solution, it's that they can't see the problem.

God Created Man

God created the dog and said: 'Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.' The dog said: 'That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?' So God agreed. God created the monkey and said: 'Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span.' The monkey said: 'Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the Dog did?' And God agreed. God created the cow and said: 'You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years.' The cow said: 'That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?' And God agreed again. God created man and said: 'Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years.' But man said: 'Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?' 'Okay,' said God, 'You asked for it.' So that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone. Life has now been explained to you.

Dale Earnhardt and Pink Floyd

Q: What do Dale Earnhardt and Pink Floyd have in common?
A: Their last big hit was The Wall.