Herder On Trial

The strident prosecutor begins: ''Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, the State will prove that this defendant did in fact discard his breeches and insert his member into the innocent sheep; that he did ejaculate into said sheep and remove his member, whereupon this sheep turned around and licked his member clean.'' Then one member of the jury turned and whispered to the other juror and said, ''The good ones will do that you know."

Rednecks At School

You know you're a redneck when you walk into school with your son and are in the same grade.

10 Bumper Stickers

1. Ambivalent? Well yes and no....
2. Does your train of thought have a caboose?
3. Is it time for your medication or mine?
4. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted a paycheck
5. How do I set the laser printer to stun?
6. I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert....
7. Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.
8. Don't bother me. I'm living happily ever after.
9. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
10. And your crybaby, whiny opinion would be ... ?