King Solomon

Q: Where is King Solomon's temple?
A: On the side of his head!

Good Deed

Harry, a new technical salesperson, is waiting to meet his prospect in the lobby of the Trump Soho in New York.  He sees Donald Trump walk in the main entrance and gets an idea. Harry introduces himself to Mr. Trump and asks a favor. “I’m meeting an important prospect here in a few minutes,” says Harry. “Would you mind just passing by and saying hello? It would really impress my client if he thought I knew you.” Mr. Trump says he'd be glad to help out and a few minutes later he spots Harry deep in conversation with his client. He walks up, taps Harry on the shoulder, and says, “Hi, Harry. How are you doing?” Harry turns around and says, “Buzz off, Trump, I’m busy.”

North V. South

• The North has sun-dried toe-mah-toes. The South has 'mater samiches.
• The North has coffeehouses. The South has Waffle Houses.
• The North has dating services. The South has family reunions.
• The North has switchblade knives. The South has Lee Press-on Nails.
• The North has double last names. The South has double first names.
• The North has Ted Kennedy. The South has Jesse Helms.
• The North has an ambulance. The South has an amalance.
• The North has the Mafia. The South has NASCAR.
• The North has Indy car races. The South has Swamp Buggy races.
• The North has Cream of Wheat or Oatmeal. The South has grits.
• The North has green salads. The South has collard greens and chitlins.
• The North has lobsters. The South has crawdads.
• The North has Distilleries, Breweries, and liquor stores. The South has stills, shine, and them ridgerunners.
• The North has the rust belt. The South has the Bible Belt.
• The North has Dan Quayle. The South has Bill Clinton.