Can I Play The Piano?

A doctor has come to see one of his patients in a hospital. The patient has had major surgery to both of his hands."Doctor," says the man excitedly and dramatically holds up his heavily bandaged hands. "Will I be able to play the piano when these bandages come off?" "I don't see why not," replies the doctor."That's funny," says the man. "I wasn't able to play it before."

Nine Out of Ten

Q: What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy?
A: Gang rape.

Mummy Reservation

A mummy calls a restaurant. Hello, I'd like to reserve a table for the pharaoh Hotepsekhemwy. Could you spell it out, please?
Of course. Bird, two triangles, wavy line, the sun, bird again, jackal's head and a scarab.