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The best jokes and joke writers!

Amazing Pick Up Line

A man who lived in a block of apartments thought it was raining and put his head out the window to check. As he did so a glass eye fell into his hand. He looked up to see where it came from in time to see a young woman looking down. "Is this yours?" he asked. She said, "Yes, could you bring it up?" and the man agreed. On arrival she was profuse in her thanks and offered the man a drink. As she was very attractive he agreed. Shortly afterwards she said, "I'm about to have dinner. There's plenty; would you like to join me?" He readily accepted her offer and both enjoyed a lovely meal. As the evening was drawing to a close the lady said, "I've had a marvelous evening. Would you like to stay the night?" The man hesitated then said, "Do you act like this with every man you meet?" "No," she replied, "Only those who catch my eye!"

Hot Babe In The Bar

A hot babe goes into a bar and orders a 'sex on the beach'. She notices a slick dude at the end of the bar with a very prominent feature. "Hi big guy," she says, batting her eyelashes. "Oh hello, beautiful," he says stepping closer to her.
"I couldn't help but notice what big feet you have," as a look of wonderment spreads across her face. "You know what that means..." he coos. "Yes, trouble for the ants," she says.

Healthy Selection

That girl said she knew me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never seen herbivore.

Geek Booty Call

The thoughts I'm having about you are rated M for Mature.

Wake Up Booty Call

It's morning in America, so how about waking up my pants?