Signs and Notices 13

These are supposedly actual signs that have appeared at various locations.

• In a Hong Kong supermarket: "For your convenience, we recommend courteous, efficient self-service."
• At fast-food place: "PARKING FOR DRIVE-THRU CUSTOMERS ONLY!"
• Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop: "Ladies may have a fit upstairs."
• In a Rhodes tailor shop: "Order your summer suit. Because in big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation."
• From the Soviet Weekly: "There will be a Moscow Exhibition of Arts by 15,000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two years."
• In an East African newspaper: "A new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape since the contractors have thrown in the bulk of their workers."
• In a Vienna hotel: "In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the hotel porter."
• In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist: "Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists."

Betty Crocker Passes

Did you hear that Betty Crocker passed away? The funeral is set at 4:50 for ten to fifteen minutes.

Today's Special

A hardware store has a sign that reads: "Today's special." (Then, below it, in pencil): "So's tomorrow."