Food Jokes - Meat-eater Jokes

Witch Cuisine

Q: Why do some witches eat raw meat?
A: Because they don't know how to cook!

Categories: Food Jokes , Funny Thoughts , Riddles , Word Play Jokes , Food Jokes (Meat-eater Jokes)
Anonymous

Cannibal Food

Two cannibals meet one day. The first cannibal says, "You know, I just can't seem to get a tender missionary. I've baked 'em, I've roasted 'em, I've stewed 'em, I've barbequed 'em, I've even tried every sort of marinade. I just cannot seem to get them tender." The second cannibal asks, "What kind of missionary do you use?" The other replied, "You know, the ones that hang out at that place at the bend of the river. They have those brown cloaks with a rope around the waist and their sort of bald on top with a funny ring of hair on their heads." "Ah ha!" he replies. "No wonder.. those are friars!"

Categories: Religion Jokes , Dark Humor Jokes , Food Jokes (Meat-eater Jokes) , Word Play Jokes
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Happy Thanksgiving

I saw you across a crowded room. Among all the others that were there, the lights seemed to shine down on you alone. I knew then I had to have you for my own. Willingly, you came with me to my home. From the car, I carried you & threw open the door. Looking at you, I admire your body, your well shaped legs, and breasts. Slowly I remove what wraps, around your body so tightly, fitting you like a glove. Exposing your tender pale skin. From your neck I remove your charms, and carry you off in my arms, to the warm water that awaits. The water cascades down your neck, flowing over your soft breasts then, making your legs glisten with wetness. Droplets of water cover your taut skin. My hands rub your body, umm running them through the beads of water. Making them trickle down off your body. I place my fingers inside you. You are warm and moist, so ready. I carry your still dripping body, to a laying place, so that I can put inside you what was well prepared to enter you before we even came through the door. As soon as I lay you down your legs spread open wide. You are ready now and so am I. I put a little in slowly at first, getting a feel for how much you can take in. I put in more, you take it willingly. In anticipation, faster and faster I put it in, pushing it in deeply as far as I can, until I can't put any more in, you are so tight. With your legs wrapped tightly, not wanting to release any of it, I make you so hot for a very long time, until your sweet juices escape from within. Then I taste you, with my tongue at first, your skin is so soft and tender. I taste more of you with my mouth, you are so hot and moist, you taste so good. Your juices coating my mouth, making me drool in anticipation of eating you more, with every taste. "Oh yes", I say to you, "I must say Grace! Thank God for this Butterball Turkey, Amen."

Categories: Food Jokes (Meat-eater Jokes) , Food Jokes , Funny Thoughts , Sex Jokes (Oral Sex Jokes) , Sex Jokes (Private Parts) , Word Play Jokes (Private Parts)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous