Jokes about Families - Sister Jokes

Wearing Suspenders

Your sister's so anorexic she has to wear suspenders with her skinny jeans.

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Submitted BY: shoff40

Redneck Dirty Talk

This brother was banging his sister, and he says, "You f*ck like Mom," and she laughs. He says, "What?" She says, "That's what Dad said."

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Sibling Stories

From Matt Groening's Big Book Of Hell, here are "Lies My Older Brother And Sister Told Me."
 
The Sleeping Alligator Story

Older Bro/Sis: See this? He isn't stuffed, ya know. He's sleeping.
You: Really?
Bro/Sis: If you don't believe me, why don't you put your finger in his mouth?
 
The Boy-Trap Warning

Bro/Sis: Inside my closet, there's a little door, and behind that little door, there's a boogey-man, and he's set traps in there, little boy traps.
You: Really?
Bro/Sis: And they're baited with CUSTARD.
You: Uh-oh.
 
The Alphabet Trick

Bro/Sis: You can come up in the tree fort if you can recite the whole alphabet. You: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y and Z.
Bro/Sis: Wrong. Scram.
 
The Yes-And-No Mind Puzzler

Bro/Sis: Yes means no and no means yes. Do you want me to hit you?
You: Yes! No! Yes! No! Help!
 
The Lure Of New Toys

Bro/Sis: There's some new toys for you down in the basement. You should go down there.
You: But last time you shut the door and turned off the lights.
Bro/Sis: This time we won't.
 
The Snowflake Story

Bro/Sis: Well I'll be!! Identical snowflakes!!
You: Lemme see!! Lemme see!!
Bro/Sis: Too late. They melted.
 
The Movie Switcheroo

You: Hey!! This isn't Bambi!!
Bro/Sis: This's better'n Bambi.
 
The Elf

Bro/Sis: I'd like you to meet
Tom. You: I don't see anybody.
Bro/Sis: Tom's invisible.
You: Oh sure.
Bro/Sis: He's an elf. If you're nice to him, he'll give you three wishes.
You: Hi, Tom.
 
The family reunion, twenty years later...

Bro/Sis: I don't remember doing any of that stuff to you.
Other Bro/Sis: Me neither.

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous