Still a Virgin?

Peter: "Hey, I bet you're still a virgin."
John: "Yeah, I was a virgin until last night ."
Peter: "No way, you had sex last night?"
John: "Yeah, just ask your sister."
Peter: "I don't have a sister."
John: "You will in about nine months."

Too Honest

Mom, how did I come to this world? "Well, your father and I planted a seed together," the mother said.
"From that seed, we grew a marijuana plant, then smoked some weed and had sex on the washing machine."

Call Your Mother

A man calls his mother in Florida. "Mom, how are you?" "Not too good," says the mother. "I've been very weak." The son says, "Why are you so weak?" She says, "Because I haven't eaten in 38 days." The man says, "That's terrible. Why haven't you eaten in 38 days? The mother answers, "Because I didn't want my mouth to be filled with food if you should call."