Osama's Daughter

Q: What did Osama name his last daughter?
A: Camela - after her mother.

Abstain from Sex

A mother worries that her teenage daughter is having sex and might get pregnant, so she consults several parenting websites for advice. Later that evening, as her daughter prepares for a date, the mother sits down to talk with her. "I know you are adult enough to make the right decision about your body. But I want you to please try to abstain from sex until you're married. If you must have sex, then please use protection." Feeling proud of herself for being so pro-active, the mother hands her daughter a box of condoms. The daughter laughs and hugs her mother. "Oh Mom! You don't have to worry about that! I'm dating a girl!"

Pregnant Daughter

The girl admitted under parental questioning that she was pregnant, but couldn't say who was responsible. "All right!" bellowed her Mother, "you march yourself to your room, and don't come out until you can give us a definite answer." Later that nite her voice rang down the stairs. "Hey Mom, I think I have an idea now." "I should hope so!" the Mother responded. "The very idea that any daughter of mine could get pregnant, let alone not know the father." "Chill Mom."  the girl said. "I got it narrowed down to the band or the football team!"