Better Training

An Australian Combat Field Engineer Sergeant and a U.S Marine were on exchange duty and were sharing the latrines. The Aussie Sergeant finished first and walked out without washing his hands. The U.S Marine watched in disgust, finished his squirt, washed his hands and walked up to the Aussie Sergeant and said. " In the U.S Marine Corps we were taught to wash our hands after a leak". The rather large Aussie Sergeant replied, " In the Australian Army mate, we were taught not to piss on our hands ...! "

The Irishman's Last Stand

There was an Irishman, a New Zealand man and an American man standing on the roof of a building, with an awning below them.
The American said to the Irishman: "I bet I could jump off this roof, land on the awning and bounce back off." So he jumped off, hit the awning, and was soon back on the roof. "There. Now you try," he said to the Irishman.
So the Irishman jumped off, and fell SPLAT on the ground. The New Zealander said to the American: "Jeez, Superman, you are a real jerk sometimes!"

German Clock Maker

Q: What did the German clockmaker say to the clock that only went 'tick, tick,tick'?
A: 'Ve haff vays of making you tock!'