Disease / Afflictions Jokes - Fart Jokes

Ferrari Touch

A lady walks into a Texas Ferrari dealership. Her eyes light up when she sees the new F12 Berlinetta and she walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to feel the fine leather upholstery, she inadvertently breaks wind. Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident. As she turns around, her worst nightmare materializes in the form of a red shirted Ferrari employee standing right behind her. Cool as a cucumber and displaying complete professionalism, the sales specialist greets the lady with, "Good day, Madam. How may we help you?" Hoping he wasn't there at the time of her accident, she asks, "Sir, how much are you asking for this incredible vehicle?" He answers, "Madam, if you farted just touching it, you are going to shit yourself when I tell you the price."

Categories: Funny Thoughts , Profession Jokes (Salesman Jokes) , Disease / Afflictions Jokes (Fart Jokes)
Anonymous

Clearing It

A very drunk man in a bar tells the bartender and everyone that is sitting near him that he can fart out the tune to The Star Spangeled Banner! Everyone who hears this wants to see him do it. So he tells everyone to gather around him, then he climbs up on the bar, drops his trousers and proceeds to take a massive dump on the bar counter. After he finishes the disgusted bartender says, "Why in the hell did you shit on my bar?" The drunk replies "Even Elvis had to clear his throat!"

Categories: Disease / Afflictions Jokes (Fart Jokes) , Bar Jokes (Drunk Jokes) , Bar Jokes (Bar Trick Jokes) , Bar Jokes (Singing in a Bar Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Big Chief, No Fart!

There is an old Indian Tribe in the Amazon and their chief is getting old and a new, young challenger wants to be chief. So, the wise man of the tribe decides that whoever produces the loudest fart in a week will be chief. The first few days pass and neither the chief or his young rival have farted. The wise man emerges and says, "Big Chief no Fart." The next day a truck load of baked beans arrives for the Chief, but at the end of the day the wise man says, "Big Chief no Fart." The next day, three truckloads arrives for the Chief, but again the wise man comes out and says, "Big Chief no Fart." The Chief is becoming frustrated and orders an army of trucks loaded with baked beans. At the end of the day the wise man comes out and says... "Big Fart, no Chief!"

Categories: Gross Jokes , Disease / Afflictions Jokes (Fart Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous