Yo Mama - C Section

Yo' Mama is so fat, when she was born, they had to perform a C-D-E-F-G-section.

Blonde Medical Terminology

ARTERY--The study of fine paintings.
BARIUM--What you do when CPR fails.
BENIGN--What you are after you be 8.
CAESAREAN SECTION--A district in Rome.
COLIC--A sheep dog.
COMA--A punctuation mark.
CONGENITAL--Friendly.
DILATE--To live longer.
FESTER--Quicker.
G.I. SERIES--Baseball game between teams of soldiers.
GRIPPE--A suitcase.
HANGNAIL--A coat hook.
MEDICAL STAFF--A Doctor's cane.
MINOR OPERATION--Coal digging.
MORBID--A higher offer.
NODE--Was aware of.
ORGANIC--Church musician.
OUTPATIENT--A person who has fainted.
POST-OPERATIVE--A letter carrier.
PROTEIN--In favor of young people.
SECRETION--Hiding anything.
SEROLOGY--Study of English knighthood.
TABLET--A small table.
TUMOR--An extra pair.
URINE--Opposite of you're out.
VARICOSE VEINS--Veins which are very close together.

Blockbuster Video Lessons

There was a guy who worked for Blockbuster video. He found it to be a great but complicated job. One day he was at the register and a older man came in and asked if he could buy a phone card. So the guy gave him a card, and he wrote him a check for $39.80. He then told him that it was 20 cents short, so he gave him 2 dimes. Unfortunately, when he typed this into the computer, he missed the period on the keyboard and it came up as 20 dollars. That night, the manager said that he was $19.80 short. The manager thought the guy had stolen it, so he fired him immediately. And the moral to this story is: "Guys get in trouble over missed periods."