No Arms or Legs

A guy was walking along the beach admiring the beautiful sunset when he noticed a young lady laying in the sand, she had no arms and no legs and was crying. He goes over and asked what was wrong. She said, "I am 21 years old, I have no legs and no arms and I have never been kissed." So, he bends down and kisses her and she stops crying. He gets up to walk away and she starts to cry again. Again, he asks her what is wrong. She says, "I am 21 years old, I have no arms and no legs and I have never been screwed." So, he goes over to her, picks her up and throws her in the water, and says - "there, now you're screwed!"

Charlie Brown With No Legs

Q: What do you call Charlie Brown with no legs?
A: Ground Chuck.

Leper's Valentine

Q: How can you tell if a Valentine card is from a leper?
A: The tongue's still in the envelope.