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The best jokes and joke writers!

Meaning Of Names

A mother was sitting on the couch reading a book when one of her children walked up to her and said, "Mummy, why is my name Petal?" The mother replied, "Because when you were born, a petal fell on your head." The next baby walked up and asked, "Mummy why is my name Rose?" she replied, "Because when you were born, a rose fell on your head." The last baby walked up to her and said, "BLAS CLAFLAS YIFRASSAM TASSM POONNFFFIINRTY." The mother replied, "Please be quiet, Refrigerator."

Delivery

I get a special delivery every morning.

My postman has Down syndrome.

Ponderings Collection

  • Whatever happened to preparations A through G?
  • If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
  • So what's the speed of dark?
  • Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?
  • I just got skylights put in my place.  The people who live above me are furious.
  • Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
  • Do they have reserved parking for non-handicapped people at the Special Olympics?
  • Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
  • If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?
  • Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?

Forest Nav

Q:  How do crazy people get through the forest?

A:  They take the psycho path.

Mentally Handicapped Orange

A mentally challenged man walks up to this guy and asks, "Can you help me? I'm trying to spell the word 'orange.'" The guy responds, "What a retard, didn't your mom teach you?" The man answers, "No." "Ever?" says the guy. "No," responds the mentally challenged man. The guy responds, "Okay, which one are you trying to spell, the color or the fruit?"