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The best jokes and joke writers!

Collection Man

The mafia was looking for a new man to make weekly collections from all the private businesses they were "protecting."  Feeling the heat from the police force, they decide to use a deaf person for this job.  If he were to get caught, he wouldn't be able to communicate to the police what he was doing.  Well, on his first week, the deaf collector picks up over $40,000! But he gets greedy, decides to keep the money and stashes it in a safe place. The mafia soon realizes that their collection is late, and sends some of their hoods after the deaf collector. The hoods find him and drag the guy to an interpreter. The Mafia hood says to the interpreter, "Ask him where da money is!"  The interpreter signs, "Where's the money?" The deaf man replies, "I don't know what you're talking about." The interpreter tells the hood, "He says he doesn't know what you're talking about." The hood pulls out a .38 and places it in the ear of the deaf collector. "Now ask him where the money is!" The interpreter signs, "Where is the money?" The deaf man replies, "The $40,000 is in a tree stump in Central Park." The interpreter says to the hood, "He says he still doesn't know what you're talking about, and doesn't think you have the balls to pull the trigger!"

Deaf People

Say what you want about deaf people...
 

Domestic Violence for the Deaf

I was recently charged with domestic violence and I won. It wasn't my fault - she never listened, always ignored me when I talked, and whenever I would flip her off, she would flip me off. That's the last time I date a deaf girl...

Deaf Men Won't Listen

Two deaf men were in a coffee shop discussing their wives. One signs to the other, "boy was my wife mad at me last night! She went on and on and wouldn't stop!" The other Buddy says "when my wife goes off on me I just don't listen." "How do you do that?" Says the other. "It's easy! I turn off the light!"

Chance to be Healed

A deaf man, a blind man and a disabled man heard a rumor that God came down to a mountaintop to solve people's problems. They all went to find out if it was true. God asked the deaf man, "Can I help you, son?" The man signed that he would be so happy if he could get his hearing back. God touched the man and suddenly he could hear. God then touched the blind man and he was able to see. The third man was sitting in his wheelchair with his mouth wide open in amazement. God looked at the man and asked him what he wanted. The man drew back and yelled, "Don't lay one finger on me. I'm on disability!"