The Good Die Young

Tombstone epitaph on the grave of Ezekial Aikle in East Dalhousie Cemetery, Nova Scotia: Here lies Ezekial Aikle, Age 102, The Good Die Young.

The Mummy!

An archaeologist was digging in the Negev Desert in Israel and came upon a casket containing a mummy. After examining it, he called the curator of a prestigious natural history museum. "I've just discovered a 3,000 year old mummy of a man who died of heart failure!" the excited scientist exclaimed. To which the curator replied, "Bring him in. We'll check it out." A week later, the amazed curator called the archaeologist. "You were right about the mummy's age and cause of death. How in the world did you know?" "Simple... there was a piece of paper in his hand that said, put me down for 10,000 Shekels on Goliath'."

Half Mast

Q: What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half mast?
A: They're hiring.